This week we are reading, Facing Your Fears by H. Norman Wright, a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Therapist. He has taught in the Grad Department of Biola University and was former director of the Graduate Department of Marriage, Family and Child Counseling at Biola University, as well as an Associate Professor of Psychology.
This little book focuses on how we talk to ourselves when all our FEARS creep upon us. What do you do when you get that nudge of fear? How do you react? How do you talk yourself out of succumbing to the fear? Often it is people who need control in all areas of life have the most difficulty with letting go of fear. Letting go of the need to control takes practice and this little book can help us reset the self talk. Earlier this week we talked about making mistakes. Most of the time FEAR plays a huge roll in how we handle these mistakes. You have to let go of that control, of that fear, to come out of these situations positively.
“The best way to face a fear is a little at a time, from a safe distance,” says therapist H. Norman Wright. Face a fear of heights by imagining the scary situation first. Then, move on to climbing a low structure, followed by a taller one, and so on. Pat yourself on the back once you conquer each challenge.
So what do you do when a fear presents itself? “Research indicates it takes about 20 minutes for the anxiety to subside when a fear is confronted,” Wright says. So perhaps you can just sit with it. We are always so quick to get rid of any emotion that feel uncomfortable. But 20 minutes, we can handle that right? You could also try to write for 20 minutes straight. Just write down anything that comes to mind. Getting all of that stuff out of your brain an onto paper is often all that is needed to overcome the fear. Then move on. Don’t wallow in your fears. Address it or sit with it, and then let it go.
Nobody goes out to FAIL – FAILURE – The very word ignites an uncomfortable feeling within most of us. We don’t want to think about failure, much less experience it. We all want to succeed and achieve. When we “think” we have failed, we see ourselves as unsuccessful, perhaps even deficient or not good enough. There must be something wrong with us! Failure if you want to call it that, will always be with us in this life. LIFE happens, try this self talk:
My challenges and/or frustrations are opportunities I just recognized today.
The only things in our life we can control is the second thought that comes into our head based on the first thought that comes automatically. Try it and let me know how it goes. I would love to hear from you.